Life

I have never felt this way before
this hard and nervous
as incredibly my brain's out of words
summoning for someone's help I am not sure of
driving myself to and fro with this
wind so swift and grandiosing
thinking of past
as some moments were so thrilling
and some en-captured within pitched black dreariness
in which now i'm losing myself
in this restlessness of mind
and with this tiring physique
where am I to lead my life?
no such enlightening place in memorandum
to merchandise this worm eaten skull of passiveness
I surely was born to become a titan
weary of this thought now I am in torment's ocean.
A malice soloist of no vice or virtue
Wrecked, torn and disheartened with
series of misfortunes.
strangling between half death and half life
what I can only think of is all those afflictions
that I have always faced with big smile on face
Despite the disgusts, hindrances and mountain of problems
But when my sprouting dreams, they got shattered
the charm and charisma , i used to have
they started fading with daylights
and top of that,
when my thoughts and feelings , they got molested
by the cheap and wicked fallacies
i was rather helpless and back stabbed
that I have no strength to get upon my knees and fight again
for my salvation, solidarity and redeemption.